Fran Kaufman photography

We’ve been together 45 years. When I think of us, this is what I see.

Here’s how I’ll always think of Bob: moving with intelligence, determination and grace in a very big world.

[Bob] My first reaction when I heard “Alzheimer’s” was disbelief and denial. When it got into my head that this was true, it felt like we were getting a diagnosis of incurable cancer.

I try to smile through the pain and to make life with Bob as comfortable as I can.

It’s often hard to reach out, as Bob’s empathy has been stolen by this disease, and it’s hard for him to think how anyone else feels. He’d never reach for my hand.

He’s slipping away in really small increments. Staying focused is a real challenge.

[Bob] I used to go everywhere myself. Now I need to have a helper with me because I get confused, even when I cross the street.

[Bob] I wish I could still travel. There are places I’d still like to see.

Most times, this is where Bob is when he’s home: in the dark, staring at the tv.

Bob says he sees himself and an imaginary twin when he looks at this picture. I see Bob moving farther and farther away.

Dinnertime.

Sometimes I feel myself slipping away. After I take care of every detail of our lives, there’s not much left. I miss him so much.